Hi everyone. My name is Shawna Kraner. I am 27 and feel like I am hidden everyday. Or I try to be hidden so others will not know about the pain I live with everyday. I was diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis at 21 after a 3 year battle of many problems. First it started out with some uti's, kidney, and bladder infections. Then, woke up one day and could not urinate. I tried and tried. I was only 18. Really, after everything I been through I thought why me? I had to wear a catheter for 6 mths bc nothing they did could get my bladder to work again! I had to quit my job and was constantly going back and forth to doc appts. I was uninsured and my mother and boyfriend at the time was helping me pay for the various medications that the docs put me on. One urologist told me it was all in my head- he refused to keep seeing me. So, I had to find another and he told me too that it was all in my head, and he didn't want any patient that was just looking for attention. He told me that I was seeing the wrong kind of doc and need a psychologist bc I had a mental illness. I was devastated. By this point, my family started to really believe that i was making it all up as well. How could I make up my bladder not working, and why would I do this when it resulted in me having to move back home with my mother less than a month after I moved out at 18. I never liked living with my mother. We had a very strained relationship as it was bc of my childhood and I would never of quit my job, give up my dreams of going to college, and have to live back with my mother. Finally, I found a new uro and 2 wks before my appt, I happen to be reading an article about a disease called Interstitial Cystitis! It was me to the letter! By this point my bladder started working again, and I will never, ever forget that first time I urinated on my own without the catheter bc I passed out on the toilet and fell to the floor. I woke up to find my little sister there freaking out. She was screaming for my mom, bc she thought I was dead. So, I called the old uro up (bc I was still technically a patient there) and he said what I had was severe bladder spasms. Holy cow, how could I imagine a spasm in my bladder would hurt so darn bad. So they put the catheter back in (which I was not happy about at all) and I had to retrain my bladder. It didn't know how to hold urine at all. And every time I would make it or try to pass urine on my own I would get these horrible bladder spasms. Very painful to say the least! Well, I would close off the catheter and only let it release the urine at certain times throughout the day in order to get it used to holding urine again. After 2 mths, I was finally able to take it out again, but was still having the bad bladder spasms. I tried many different medications, but the only one that helped was Urispas. I still take it now, bc I still get the spasms at the most inconvenient times!!! I take it 4 times a day. Oh, back to when I finally went to the 3rd uro. ( I ramble alot and this blogging is more like a thinking process for me, bc it comes out easier! Sometimes, it is hard to keep up with me- alot of back and forth) So, finally went to the new uro and since the catheter was out, I found a new job which was so hard to do bc I had been off work for so long due to health issues and every where I applied they would worry that I would quit bc of same thing. Which was a big problem. But finally found a new job and my appt for the new uro came up. I went to him, he walked in the room and said what brings you here today? I said I think I have Interstitial Cystitis and need to find out. He looked at me wide eyed and says you know its rare that I have a young urology patient and right now I have no patients that have Interstitial Cystitis, so why exactly do you think you have this? I told him my history, he agreed with me, and set the surgery date. It was Sept 7, 2005 when I was diagnosed with I.C. I thought it would bring some kind of relief to know what it was, but no it brought more questions and more not enough answers. This was just the beginning! And a very long journey of hiding from the ppl I love in order to not bring them the pain of my illness.
More to come soon on my journey with my health! I am tired now and going to rest for the night. Thanks for reading!
